Effective Date: 2025-07-11
Welcome to StaachorNews, the intergalactic network of alien expression and cosmic fun. This space is not governed by Earth's rules of reality, identity, or seriousness. By registering or participating, you agree to the following:
This platform is a simulation. All identities are fictional. All statements are imaginary. Anything that seems real is purely coincidental and likely the result of alien influence.
Upon registration, you will be assigned a unique alien name. These names:
- Are randomly generated from a curated list
- Have the second letter capitalized (e.g., @jArlox, @sHyloo)
- Are filtered to prevent offensive, racist, or vulgar language
- Come from one of many pools (male, female, other)
You have three chances to accept a name before being locked into the third. You cannot choose your own name.
To enhance the fun, you may (optionally) provide: - Biological classification (e.g., male, female, other) - Elemental affinity (earth, wind, fire) - Role alignment (boss, worker, retired, rebel)
These may influence your alien name assignment. Or not. Who knows? This is alien territory.
We do not use passwords. Instead, your identity is confirmed by: - The name you selected - The exact registration timestamp
Your registration time is your only key. It is your “fingerprint” in this world. Keep it safe.
All public messages (“sparks”) are immediately converted into alien language. - Original text is never saved - No recovery is possible - Sentiment and tone may be modified - Ollama or other AIs may respond in due time
This is for entertainment and storytelling: - No hate speech - No real-life threats - No spam or promotions - Don’t try to circumvent alien filters
Violations may result in vaporization.
This is a parody/fictional platform. Do not treat any part of this site as legally binding, factual, or serious.
All human-facing content is for entertainment only. Any resemblance to real events, persons, or organizations is purely coincidental (or alien mind manipulation).
We may update these terms anytime, without warning, based on alien whimsy. You agree to check back telepathically or via the README.
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